How to Overcome Shyness
Modesty is not a flaw, but excessive shyness can prevent your personal life and career. We collected useful and really working ways that will help you finally get out of your “cocoon” and begin to communicate with people.
Don’t let shyness play against you
Do you remember the moments in your life when shyness played against you and didn’t allow you to enjoy the moment? For example, you didn’t acquaint with a girl of your dreams, didn’t learn to dance, didn’t perform on a stage, etc. Ask yourself whether you really want such situations to repeat? If your answer is “No!”, then you are ready to proceed to the second advice.
Don’t criticize yourself and the surrounding people
Shy people have to try to notice the best traits, praise and accept, forgive and understand. And, of course, learn to forget the negative experience and let go all the unpleasant situations.
Don’t be afraid of failure
Some psychologists believe that shyness is the trait of perfectionists, who are terribly afraid of disapproval and criticism. You should remind yourself one truth that you are not a one hundred dollar bill, not everyone is going to like you. Don’t seek to gain the approval of everyone and calmly accept the fact that no matter how you try to please everyone, there will always be those who want to argue with you. So the best thing you can do is to relax and allow yourself to make mistakes: you will be surprised how much easier and more pleasant your communication will become.
Highlight your advantages
As a rule, the reason of shyness is low self-esteem. Try to find the positive side even in the shortcomings. Remember about your own brilliance.
Don’t focus on others
The problem of shy people is that they think too much about the impression they will make on others. Try to redirect the flow of thoughts from yourself to others. Be interested, ask, and empathize interesting information. When you are focused on other persons, then anxiety about one’s own behavior will be placed in the background.
Focus on body language
Eye contact, loud and clear speech, as well as a smile and a strong handshake, inform others about your confidence and openness. Moreover, you deceive your brain by these actions and begin to feel more free.
Send the right signals
Shy people are often mistaken for being unfriendly, indifferent or arrogant. Shyness gives us an inaccessible look. As the study showed, people who look directly at us and smile seem more attractive to us. 86% of people will start a conversation with strangers if they smile. Another plus is that a smile improves well-being even when you don’t really have a good mood. An important point: if you smile at someone, and you don’t get a smile in response, then just don’t pay attention to it. We can’t force people to accept our friendliness.
Talk to strangers
Try to communicate with strangers. Your task here is just to start a conversation. Even if you don’t like a particular person, you have to cope with the task. Remember the goal – to start talking! By the way, according to some researchers, only 10% of people are not interested in communication. So, you can count on a pleasant conversation with many people. Ask them what they like, what kind of book they read, where they bought such cool clothes, whether they know the weather forecast for today, do they know any good anecdotes, whatever.
Forget about fears
The best way to overcome shyness is to get rid of your personal fears. Are you afraid of something? This is the best thing that adds self-confidence and self-esteem. Fear is just an illusion. Fear is caused by negative experience or negative beliefs. Do you want to overcome shyness? Face your fears! It will help you in this matter.
Thanks to our friends from senior dating site for providing this article.