Some men are shameless

FROM time immemorial, some married men who have impregnated women outside wedlock, have refused to be responsible for their pregnancies and when such women give birth, they struggle to bring up their children.
Some of the impregnated women have been lucky that through the help of their parents or other relatives they have managed to nurture their children who have grown up and are in employment.
However, there have been children born outside wedlock and though their mothers insisted that it was the men they mentioned who were responsible for their pregnancies, such men have completely denied responsibility thus leaving the burden of bringing up the children on their own.
What has been significant in most of these cases, however, is that when these children grow up and become well to do people in society, the men want to go back to the women whose pregnancies they denied and pleaded that they should let their children know that they were their fathers.
But in many instances, when the women brought up the children on their own, they refuse to accept the men’s demand to be recognised as fathers of those children when they had in the first place, blatantly refused being responsible.
This being the case, there have been instances when the children who were denied, demanded to know their fathers and though they came to know about them later in life, they support them and sorted out their problems when they were in need.
There have been some times when the mothers of some of these children have died and it was the relatives especially the grand parents, who took care of them.
Recently, I went to see the mechanic who was working on my vehicle in Ndola’s Lubuto Township.
I found the mechanic with another man quiet busy assembling the engine of another vehicle whose owner was eager to have the car worked on quickly because he urgently wanted to use it.
When the mechanic saw me, he quickly made an excuse that he could not work on my vehicle first because the man whose engine he was working on was bothering him  because he wanted to drive somewhere in Northern Province to see his ailing father.
“Sorry Potipher ,I should have finished working on your vehicle, but the owner  of this engine we are working on wants to go to the village to see his sick father.
“Just give me two days I will finish working on this vehicle because all the spare parts are available,” the mechanic told me.
I didn’t know whether to believe this man or not because it had been two weeks since I took my vehicle to be worked on but the mechanic did not touch it.
It was while we were discussing my vehicle that another man came and I saw the mechanic excuse himself to have a private discussion with that man.
After a quick discussion, the man left and the mechanic came back to continue with his work.
It was then that the man I had found with the mechanic smiled to himself and commented: “kwena abantu bambi tabakwata insoni.Umwana eo akene eo abutukilako nomba no kulilapo after banyina bafwile,” [some people are shameless. The child he denied as his is the one who he has now turned to for survival after his mother died].
“Kuti akwatashani insoni pantu ulya umwana alingila incito iisuma no kufola alafola ishingi. Mudala ulya nomba alailumba ati umwana wakwe alisambilila, nomba abantu balamuseka ati nindalama akonka kumwana”, (How can he be ashamed because that son has landed himself a good job and he gets a lot of money. That man now even boasts that his son is educated, but people laugh at him saying that it is money which attracted the man to the son] commented the mechanic.
It was at this point that the man who introduced the topic started to explain, probably for my benefit, because the mechanic also knew the story about the man.
According to the mechanic’s friend, the man who was the neighbour to the woman he impregnated denied that he was responsible for the pregnancy and the matter was taken to court where he was fined.
He said although the man was fined and paid the money, he insisted that he was not responsible for the pregnancy.
“He completely refused that he was not responsible for the pregnancy and he was telling the woman’s parents that their daughter was a whore and framed him that he had impregnated her. That woman was very decent and he made her stop school,” explained the man.
The mechanic chipped in and added that when the child was born, the woman’s parents took care of both their daughter and grandchild.
It was unfortunate that the woman died while her son was at college, but it was good that he completed school and found a good job.
According to the mechanic, the child did not know his father until when he got a job.
He said when the boy went to college, his mother approached the man before she died and told him to take care  of the child because he was surely the father and the child resembled him but the man refused.
“Elyo banyina bafwile, bashikulu naba  mbuya bakwe bali eba bawishi ukuti babafwilisheko ukulipila impiyashaku college. Bamudala balikana ati temwana wabo. Bashikulu nabambuya wakwe  balilwisishe ukuti apwishe amasambililo yakwe”,(when his mother died, his grandfather and grandmother told the man to help them with college fees, but the man refused that the child was not his. His grandfather and grandmother struggled to make him complete his education,) explained the mechanic.
The other man said when the child completed his course and got himself a job, the man went to the parents of the late woman to apologise and asked them to let the child know that he was truly his father, but they refused and asked him to personally go and apologise to the child himself.
“His son is very good. He provides him with everything” said the man.
He said although his son has forgiven his father, his relatives are not happy and always complain to him that his father was a very bad man who only likes him because he was in employment and providing him with everything he needed.
“His aunt and uncle tell him that his father is a fool, but the child tells them to forget about what the man had done,” explained the man.
The mechanic added that the man has even stopped considering the three children, two men and a woman whom he sired from the woman he married.
“Abana abaume abo afyele mubakashi baupile balifilwa ukupwisha amasukulu bapitanafye muma taveni. Balabeba ati fipuba kuli bawishi”, (The two men he sired from the woman he married have failed to complete school and they just roam about in taverns. Their father calls them fools,) said the mechanic.
We heard a vehicle hooting outside the gate and the mechanic went to check who had come. It was another man who brought his vehicle to be serviced and he wanted the job to be done promptly.
He gave him half the amount to service the vehicle and promised that he would give him the remainder as soon as he finished the job.
The mechanic abandoned the engine he was working on and started working on the vehicle which had just been brought.
I wondered whether he would finish working on the engine I found him working on and I also wondered whether he would work on my vehicle in the next two days he had given me.
I left as I was thinking about the man who had refused the responsibility of the pregnancy of the woman whose child he was now depending on.
For comments: potipher 2014@gmail.com. 0955929796,0966278597.