OPINION: The Presidents and “Chimbuya�

By Dickson Jere

I was livid with this double-headed comedian, Brighton Sinkala, for ridiculing the President in public. He made outrageous jokes about the President’s knee injury that saw him undergo a major surgery in South Africa. The audience was stunned too by the daring antics of this Sinkala boy. At some point everyone went quiet with palms covering their mouths…unbelievable! How can Sinkala do such a thing to His Excellency, Mr. Rupiah Bwezani Banda, President of the Republic of Zambia and Commander In-chief of the Armed Forces!

And so, I walked to the podium, as press aide, to try and pump some sense in the head of this comedian – that it was totally wrong for him to joke about the President’s ailment at such a national event.

But before my mission could be accomplished, I overheard the President shouting as he waved me away from the podium.

“Leave him…” he said.

“Ni mu Bemba mambala uyo…” (he is Bemba that naughty boy).

And the audience burst in laughter and the atmosphere calmed down.

“We Zambians like light moments even in hardship…let’s encourage that…” the President said.

That is how the Ngoni or Nyanja and Bemba speaking people relate to each other and take advantage of every moment to tease each other…like I was recently painted white at a funeral!

Fast forward, at a serious press conference addressing national issues, a monkey appeared from nowhere and urinated on the President.

He paused in shock as he looked up the tree where the primate was hovering….

“Ah kanitundila…(ah, it has urinated on me”, he said, looking rather puzzled by the bizarre incident.

And then he turned the incident into a Ngoni-Bemba affair!

“I will give this monkey for lunch to Mr. Sata,” he said in jest, prompting laughter.

But then, it could be true that 6 of 10, are thieves! I will not mention them by tribe because Bembas will think I am talking about them.