I wanted lady from the church

HOW WE MET with MIKE MUGALA
Lusaka
WHEN Moses Mwitila saw Ednah Kapalu walk towards the altar to receive Eucharist at Christ the King Catholic parish in Kaunda Square stage one in 1999, he was immediately attracted to her.
Before then, he had been monitoring her conduct for some time especially during church programmes.
Ednah’s love for God and commitment to church were enough reason for Moses to approach her and propose a relationship.
He did not give up on his pursuits even when she told him tin school.
“I wanted to get a lady from the church, it had to be Ednah because she was active in most church programmes, and she is also coming from a God-fearing family,” Moses says.
In 2002, Moses approached Ednah for the second time and he struck a lucky chord this time.
During the course of their relationship, the pair spent most of their time at church. They also went for outings.
According to Moses, their relationship was all rosy and in 2004, they got married.
When Ednah joined Moses, he was looking after nine people out of which five were his friends. Though life was not easy, Ednah quickly fitted in and embraced all with open arms.
Moses’ salary was not enough to look after 10 people but the couple depended on God for survival and sustenance.
“Ednah came into my life and accommodated my family and friends. She became a mother to all of us,” he says.
Moses says their marriage was based on Christian values and this kept the couple going even when they experienced challenges.
He says Ednah played a huge role in cementing the marriage even when things were not okay.
In the 14 years of their marriage, Moses has learnt that communication is vital in the face of challenges.
He says the couple does not dwell so much on who is wrong when faced with problems but focus on what is wrong.
Moses says forgiveness is also vital in marriage regardless of who has erred.
“People in marriage should not find it difficult to seek for forgiveness and granting it,” he says.
Moses says love should be the main focus of a marriage and one’s mistakes are overlooked when there is love.
He says it is important for a man to find time for his family to reflect on a number of issues and promote family bonding.
Moses advises young people preparing to go into marriage to prepare fully to avoid shocks.
He also says there is need for young couples to learn to depend on God when facing challenges bigger than their capacity.
Moses’ prayer is that he should grow old together with Ednah and that God should continue sustaining their marriage.
And Ednah thought it was not right to get into a relationship while at school because it would disturb her focus and concentration on school.
Though she mingled with male friends, she was not into relationships because she did not want to disappoint her parents.
Ednah never thought Moses would propose a relationship because she only took him as a friend.
“I was introduced to Moses by his friend, he already knew me but I never did. I gave him an opportunity when I completed school because I believed we were on the same page by then,” she says.
Ednah was touched when she learnt that Moses was an orphan and had a deaf sister. I felt the need to be with him to help him look after his disabled sister.
She says she would not have been where she is had it not been for her husband’s tolerance, kindness, love and generosity.
Ednah says her husband’s character has greatly contributed to cementing their marriage.
“I would analyse whatever he would say and take it as my motivation, he has contributed so much to our achievements and has really played his role as a husband and father” she says.
Ednah says young ladies must go into marriage for the right reasons and reduce expectations if they are to enjoy their marriage.
She does not subscribe to the notion by society that marriage is a shipikisha club because it was meant to be enjoyed.
Ednah has advised women to know their roles and support their husbands to cement marriages.
“The higher you go in education, the more loyal and respectful you should be to your husband. Marriage is an account and what put in is what you get,” she says.
Ednah says marriage is an institution which should have objectives and grow.
The couple has three children. Moses is an assistant sergeant at arms at Parliament while Ednah works for National Airports Corporation Limited.