Finally I’ve met the woman of my dreams..

For illustration purposes

It was yesterday around 17 when I was at arcades, seated near the cinema with headphones in my ears listening to some cool country music by Kenny Rodgers when all the sudden she came and sat right next to me.

Ala nshatalamonapo gelo umusuma ngoyu. Oh my lord i swear She was the vision of heaven! her hair nicely trimmed, her fair skin glowing, tuma tight firm little pointed boobs with firm Coca-Cola shaped hips and a smile that could raise the dead sent me into a frenzy, like a pentecostal papa who has been struck by the holy spirit screaming in tongues tatatatata abracadabra kokokokoko shindododododo…

For a moment I couldn’t believe what I was beholding. Time came to a standstill, it’s like I had a vision of eternity. My body was frozen still and I swear at that moment I could walk on thin air.

Then she stood and left

Nati what???

Just as I thought she was gone , she went next to her ka latest Vitz 2015 which was parked just right next to my Ka little 4*4 Ford Escape . She opened her tiny cute car, took out her ipad and walked straight right next to me and sat and begun browsing on her ipad.

I was upset! She almost gave me a heart attack and I don’t appreciate such raising of my BP. So I stood right up and walked to her and said “excuse me miss but you almost ruined my evening”..she looked at me with that chicky look and said “excuse you, but how sir?”…

So I continued and said “sorry but I was watching you whole evening while you sat here. When you stood to go to your car I thought you were gone for good and my evening felt sour. For some reason unknown to me I just felt good watching you. Not in a perverted or lustful way but my heart just felt at peace looking at you!”…

In her body tight white dress and with her legs respectfully crossed nakapanga na “4” with her ipad on her laps she looked at me, smiled and said “you very funny sir”…then she extended her arm to me and greeted me….”Pleased to me meet you sir”…”oh please don’t call me sir, I feel so old, ndi mwaiche, am Mwaba Mutale please, call me Mwaba” I replied. . “OK Mwaba Mutale, nice to meet you..”may I seat next to you miss?”, I asked… she hesitated for a second while scratching her chin as though she had an invisible beard and then said “sure sir, sure thing…”well I just hope your boy friend won’t come and beat me up”……. I said ma setting ma setting ….again with her smile that could cure Aids she smiled at me and said “oh you so silly, which boyfriend? Am very much single sir, oh sorry Mwaba. I just finished my law studies at ZIALE, I needed to concentrate to pass my bar exams so I cut off relationships. But now that am done, maybe I wil look around and see what comes up…she smiled again…”…. njebele gaddd yapasa. Nyapa pene. .. mpaka litente , mpaka litulike

Just as I thought God had answered my prayers. Just as I was about to ask her phone number I heard a loud Mozegetta song play loudly and annoyingly “Chiunda music ..bakashala bale landa nokulanguluka ba guy twali na Mozegeta ye world yasenda, olile olile iyaya , olile olile mayo iyaya ”

Iye, It was my 05:30 alarm waking me up….. olo with this morning freezing cold. That’s the worst torture ever..for once I hated being alive…

I almost broke my phone. I didn’t even pray after waking up! Actually am still very much pissed. Kalumbafye I’ve boycotted everything today. I swear am not even stepping a foot at work today. How can God tease me like that sure? am not attending to anything lelo, I won’t even have my morning devotion, I swear…work can kiss my ass .. Nshafiyeko

I swear Nshileyako ku job! let me just go back to sleep..…

Dear God but why??? Why me lord ???