By Pastor Jasper Mutale

IT all starts from the beginning…From inception…From the family tree..we are born, nurtured to become who we are now..based on our upbringing ..the books we read and the people we hang around with…Remember garbage in garbage out..love in love out..hate in hate out.

What we are in the future is based on everything we do today..the people we hang around with..but definitely the people we listen to..the opinions believed ..books we read..or videos we watch..that all info we take in will POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY  definitely affect your future and mine

The workouts we do or don’t do they will show up in the future ..the same is so true with our thoughts  and info. .imagine the foods we eat today affects our future on a visual and energy levels.

What we feed our minds will shape our future.  If all we take in is garbage, hate, corruption, disunity, basically all the opposite from the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

It is shocking to see people who once danced together, laughed together and had food together go into a game of throwing tantrums on each other´s name.

Yet, whoever you differ with, there is always a way to resolve issues from the biblical point of view especially that we are Christians in a Christian nation.

It brings so much shame to the person whose name is being destroyed, bearing in mind that very person or leader has children, wife and other family members.

Noah was once drunk and naked, yet it pleased one of his sons to expose the father´s nakedness because the boy was having a joy to see his own father shamed   and this was not the case with Noah´s other son.

Let us always sit down and resolve issues in a Spirit of joy and unite.  It has been said united we stand and divided we fail!  Aim at speaking that which will unify people and not that which will destroy.

It is my pray that after reading this article. we shall learn one or two things from the way we have to resolve any conflicts in a manner that pleases God.

Imagine what our future is going to be made of Zambia? Let’s never be like the rest, our future is begging us to work harder and smarter than the rest.to forgive one another now so we can enjoy later, not to be like the rest, but to learn more than the rest.

The future is begging us to make the right choice now so we can enjoy later.  If we don’t feed our minds with success, it will rot with mediocrity.  What we do every day will dictate our future.

What we want out of life, we must put it in.  If we want success, put it there.  If we want health and fitness put it in.  If we want PEACE LOVE and HARMONY, Put it in:  ACTIONS EQUAL OUR RESULTS.  ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE..From the Family level, Sports, Government, Political and Business.

To confront means to deal with a problem or difficult situation. To confront also could mean to make someone face a difficult person. Confrontation is a normal part of communication within relationships, and is essential for constructive progression of that relationship.

Zambia is a Christian nation meaning , her people manly the leaders ought to be God fearing people whose way of resolving issues is based on the bible. Every problem or conflict should be solved in the light of the Bible. It will further mean that , we will not tarnish our brother’s name or Sister who differs with our opinion. But will carefully follow the steps or scriptures to help us resolve our issues.

Disagreements are inevitable Dear leaders. Pick any subject and you will find people on either side of the fence.  If you are for it, you can bet someone else is against it.  Because we are so divers, differences are bound to arise.  But that’s what freedom is all about – RESPECTING other people’s differences

Even the godly will sometimes disagree so stop saying as if those people are not Christians,when you read the Bible you will know that fact. For some it is difficult to understand how two people who passionately love the Lord and His Word could stand diametrically opposed on certain issues.  But they can as Coen once said     The example of Paul and Barnabas   This is what we call an interpersonal relationship.In every disagreement there will be the same two ingredients:  an issue and various viewpoints.

-The issue is usually objective( define objectives) and involves principles.

-The viewpoints involve personalities and are usually subjective.

Therein lies the source of most every clash – a disagreement on an issue because of opposing points of view.  Understanding these two simple ingredients will help you keep calm and collected in a conflict with others. In many disagreements each side is valid.Differing viewpoints are not so much an “I am right and you are wrong” matter as they are an “I see it from this perspective, and you see it from that “perspective” matter.  Both sides have strengths and weaknesses, which means neither side is airtight and its logic or ironclad in its conclusions.Nevertheless, any disagreement can lead to division; any conflict can create a rift in a relationship.

What is our responsibility?  Matt 5:19 and 2 Cor 5:18 (ministry of reconciliation) and (Whosoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches them to men,

What does reconciliation really imply?Stop focusing on the black dot and see the white paper. He was a mediator, NOT A JUDGE.  He tried to reconcile them and did not choose sides.  He blamed no-one.Paul places the responsibility where it belongs: on the congregation .

The magic bullet  Zambia needs now is a biblical principle from the book of :  Matthew 18: 15 – 17 . Now Zambia kindly Discuss the Biblical strategy described in this person of Scripture as well as and its implications for our own lives? Do you think this strategy can be applied in all circumstances?   NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES OF CONFLICT*Separation and division lead to isolation and lack of communication*Loss of confidence*attack gets personal*loss of potential (knowledge)*loss of common purpose*cascading, domino effect within the group result in splinter groups*loss of love*selfish and self-centred*waste of time*Lack of trust I know that they are no  enemies in Politics for example ,however ,in the light of that word there is no biblical backups for such a word.

POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES. * problems van be solved easier – could have been dormant*relationship can be restored*greater understanding*points out problems*future conflicts can be stopped*forces one to be more creative.

We should stop cooking lies about each other . We should instead call for justice; plead our cases with integrity. It’s shameful to rely on empty arguments and speak lies; let there be justice in our path and let anyone who moves there find peace.

In my opinion doing politics God’s way is the best ,  The devil wants blood to be shade from innocent people, he the devil promotes insults, bad language and violence .

Why is confrontation so Scary? As sinners, we spend much of our time hiding from, excusing, or blaming others for our sin. In Genesis 3: 8-13 Adam and Eve knew that they had disobeyed God, as they were hiding from Him. We also see excuses being made and blaming taking place.

Sinners (Which are all of us) don’t feel comfortable when their lives are under inspection. We tend to be better at seeing the speck in the eye of our neighbor than the log in our own eyes Mathew 7:1-5

We dread confrontation because we don’t like to look at our sin, but also because of the unbiblical and troublesome way we’ve seen it handled. Confrontation is often marred by improper judgment of the person or situation. Confrontation is often always done without love and the use of condemning words, which should not be so. The Problem is that confrontation often takes place within a non-existent or broken relationship and people tend to demand a change immediate of that people ratherthan knowing that it is a process for a person to change and a person does not change overnight.

What is the purpose of confrontation? To challenge someone to stop and reconsider their words and actions, especially if they-contradict the word of God. Eg . If someone teaches their children that they have to wait until marriage before having sex, but is committing adultery in their own marriage. The other purpose of confrontation is to help people see the contradictions and consequences in what they have said and done. It is to encourage them to take responsibility for words and actions, and often then motivated to change the behavior.

2 Samuel 12:1-16. Nathan was called by God to confront KingDavid. Surely David knew the law of the Lord. Why wasn’t he conscience-stricken? Why wasn’t he eaten up with conviction of sin? Why did he need someone to stand before him and point out what should have been so obvious? This is God’s commitment to intervene in blindness and rebellion with his redemptive grace.

What a powerful reminder of our need for intervention! We also need God to raise up people who are willing to accept the hard job of helping us to see ourselves as God does.

Hebrews 3:12-15. See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. As it has just been said: Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.

Being a Christian does not mean that we are free of spiritual blindness or the potential for self-deception. As long as there is indwelling sin, spiritual blindness and self-deception  will exist.We all need daily encouragement so that indwelling sin would not blind us.

People should always have a motive of love when confronting a person and not anger, frustration or insecurity otherwise the person may feel criticized, condemned and rejected. The goal of confrontation is to benefit the person, not me. Remembersomething, the context must be in trust-you need to earn the right to confront relationship building.You may ask, but what are the proper elements in biblical confrontation? Will look at nine biblical models of confrontation. Firstly, Exam your heart. Confrontation always begins with you. Be sure that you have dealt with your anger, impatience, self-righteousness and bitterness. When we start with our ownconfession, we are in a much better place to lead others to confess. Secondly . Note your calling. Confrontation is not based on your opinion of the person. Your job is to faithfully represent the message of God. Your goal is to help people see and accept God’s view of them.

Thirdly, check your attitude. Are your words spoken in kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, compassion and love? Failure to do this will hinder God-honoring, change-producing confrontation. Am sure a person can listen when we are humble and gentle while speaking unlike screaming ,insulting our friends to prove how wide our mouth can open.

Point number four: own your own faults. You must enter moments of confrontation with a humble recognition of who we really are. Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” As we admit our own need for the Lord’s forgiveness, we are able to be patient and forgiving with the one to whom God has called us to minister.

Key number five .Use words wisely. Effective confrontation demands preparation, especially of our words. We Need to ask God to help us use words that carry his message, not get in the way of it.

The sixth point is that, always reflect on the scriptures. The bible guides what we say and how we say it. You should enter confrontation with specifics understanding of what scripture says about the issues at hand.

Nevertheless, key number seven is very important. Always be prepared to listen. We need to give the person an opportunity to talk, since we can’t look into his heart or read his mind or her mind. Most relationships and marriages are drowning like a sinking Titanic ship because each partner cannot give each other chance to listen. Our people are also dying because other doctors or nurses cannot have time to listen when a sick person is crying. Road accidents, claiming lives because our drivers fails to listen when The Road Traffic Agency say. do not over speed or sms  with your phone while driving.  because they could not listen to the wishes of people who voted them. So please listen!

Point number eight: Always grant time for a response. Give the Holy Spirit time to work. Change is usually a process, so don’t expect the person to confess and repent in one sitting.

Lastly, encourage the person with the gospel. It is the awesome grace of God, his boundless love, and His ever-present help that give us a reason to turn from our sin. Romans 2:4 ….God’s kindness leads to repentance.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”(Psalm 46:1-3)

May God give you wisdom to confront! As you use the biblicalformula am sure growth shall appear in your relationship. If your partner, workmate or any of your close family members is doing wrong, my advice is that, there is hope for a biblical confrontation to resolve your issues and relationships shall be healthy with the biblical confrontation. Remember to forgive, do not carry bitterness in your heart. The goal of confronting is to restore a brother or sister and not to destroy a person, bearing in mind that we all stumble and always treat others the way you would like to be treated when in contempt .do not judge or condemn when confronting. Use your words wisely bearing in mind abusive words won’t gain you any dignity. Now go and resolve your issues freely. Know that you are loved when you are confronted. Always respect people in Authority and above all your parents and elderly people among you, do not be bitter when confronted in love.

For now stay blessed and remember its gone be well and you shall be restored together, these things happen but we can make reconcilation Happen.

Contact this line if you would like to talk more 0966487131 or jasper.mutale@yahoo.com

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