IN recent weeks, a bizarre phenomena hit Zambian communities, where young couples, in particular, have resorted to taking the life of their spouse to resolve marital disputes.
This has been a heated topic especially, leaving a chilling feeling among men, particularly husbands, who are considered to be the head of a household, but the odds have now changed, most have lost their lives, in a savage manner.
There also have been similar cases, where wives have been battered and killed at the hands of their husbands, but the issue at hand, is, why this trend?
As we strive to relate empowerment as a key to ending GBV cases, we will also look into some of the causes of this latest episode – “When wives turn into killers”.
Let us put it together, these are families who are educated and they are all financially stable, why do they fight?
From my own analysis, social media, has largely contributed to this development, as I am going to outline.
A lot of couples are on social media, where they communicate to different people in terms of business, work, friendship and so forth.
Being on social media is not a bad thing, but it is how people tend to abuse this platform, is what matters.
It has become a common practice among couples who work, to find that they have developed a habit of spending more time on Facebook, among other social sites, instead of spending the time communicating with each other.
This has contributed to creating a rift between couples, where one partner is craving for the other’s companionship.
In extreme cases, you would find that the wife will even fail to prepare a meal, opting to buy takeaway food, all because she has become addicted to social media and spends more time glued to her phone and does not have ample time for her spouse or her family.
My advice is not to do away with social media, but what is important is how one manages it and places priorities in the right order.
All in all, to the wives, your home should come first before anything else. Learn to schedule your time.
Infidelity on social media: Abuse of social media has been linked to high levels of infidelity. Couples have used social media to cheat on their partners and when this is discovered, a fight ensues between nowadays’ couples.
Dialogue, has lost room among couples, resulting in physical abuse.
Speaking directly about wives opting to pick a knife or any dangerous weapon, to vent their anger, this is not the way to go. It is important that a wife maintains her cool and not to react by picking any sharp object, remember killing only worsens the situation.
Apply prayer and God will give you the wisdom to handle your situations amicably.
My fellow women of what benefit is it to take your husbands’ life and end up in jail?
Who is affected by this? Children are left in this world, fatherless and motherless and some resort to going to the streets to earn a living and end up being traumatized, they have nowhere to go to.
And you the offender will live a stigmatized life, even when you are out of jail.
My fellow women, am not against you, but let’s be ambassadors for peace in our own homes.
When two people decide to get married it means they have known each other very well and they are ready to go into marriage.
There are people who enter marriages thinking they will change the behavior of the other person, but if this is not happening they resort to fights.
Enter a marriage with a positive mind if you enter a marriage thinking you will change someone’s weakness that is wrong.
Quite alright, others change, but most of them it takes time you have to be tolerant and patient as a spouse.
If you feel you can’t live with his weakness better you avoid the marriage believe me you know one is perfect.
If we embrace love, humility, tolerance will achieve a better tomorrow.
Every home has got its own challenges once in a while, but it’s how you handle those challenges that matters most, remember we are strangers coming together and raised differently.
Lastly but not the least, anger management, women let us learn to manage and control our anger when issues arise in our homes.
Remember, you can make wrong decisions when you are angry without realizing it, let us allow our Almighty God to take control of our issues before we decide to fight them.
I am also appealing to the churches, the matrons who officiate kitchen parties and those who offer counseling to would-be couples to teach them real issues of life, for example a woman is taught on how to take care of her husband and home and forgetting that the man needs the same teachings for them to blend well and avoid misunderstandings. Also teach them on how to manage conflicts, finances, etc.
Above all God is the author and finisher.
In whatever situation you go through put God first and God will fight all your battles. God bless!!
The Author is Women In Business Consultant under the name Morvac Business Consultancy.
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